Monday, April 8

Be You. Don't Send Me A Representative.

There are so many people who claim to be "real". Kind of like people who say they're humble. It's one of those things that if we were, we wouldn't have to let anyone know. Our actions would speak for themselves. From time to time, I've been accused of not wanting the "real" from others, which is far from the truth. The thing about being genuine is, if we treat it like a light switch, we aren't being authentic. We're playing a role that relies greatly on how well of an actor we are, not portraying who we truly are.

No matter the level of relationship[romantic, friend, family, etc.] we get to know others on, if we make ourselves appear one way, knowing we operate totally different when we're comfortable, we've already succeeded at poisoning the relationship. Putting up facades tend to damage whatever we're trying to build. Human nature doesn't leave much room to conceal who we are for long so, our true selves seep out, whether we notice it or not. So why front in the first place?

By sending our representative in to establish a relationship, we cheat ourselves out of being around people who genuinely like us. There are things and people in the world that can be beneficial to our growth and all the energy we use to impress them as someone we aren't, is a waste. If it's extremely important to be liked, it only takes a second to understand that no matter who we are [pretend or not], everyone isn't going to like us anyway. No human alive is built to appeal to everyone. Even the most lovable person we know is disliked by someone.

So when someone sheds their facade and I distance myself, it is never about me not liking the real them. I might actually be fond of the "real you". People can become turned off when it becomes clear that all the time spent getting to know this "other you" was in vain. Personally, what turns me off is that I STILL don't know the real you...and there is no telling when I'll be allowed to see. All the time spent getting to know a representative could have been spent getting to know YOU. It can also make people question what else you're hiding in a relationship, sending the message that you aren't to be trusted. 

So in the end, is it really about people not wanting the real you or is it more so you not giving people the initial opportunity to know who you really are?

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