I believe each person defines who they are by their own actions and words. Yes, there are plenty of sayings that allude to a person being the company they keep. While I understand those adages did not spring up out of thin air, those assumptions of character are based on surface views of who people might be.
If you do not have Christian beliefs what I am about to say may not hold any weight in this conversation. However, strip your mind of religious preference and apply the principle I am using to make my point.
Jesus had 12 apostles and a woman he was closest to during his adult years. The company he kept was not anything most people would be proud of. His friends were known for being liars, thieves, even murderers. Some might say that these men were these things before Jesus welcomed them into his fold. While that is true, some of them continued to have the same character flaws after forming their friendship with him. Anyone who wants to pretend not to have read their Bible need only reference Peter.
I have plenty of friends who operate under their own code of ethics and personal law. I have no problem with this until it affects me. This is the ideal friendship for me. You are allowed to be who you truly want to be in my presence which allows me to be 100% functional as well. I could very well monitor them closely for signs of them about to fuck up with me but that is not me being a friend; that is me waiting for an otherwise normal person to start showing their ass.
Requires too much energy and no time left for you to cultivate any friendship.
I say all this to say, I would much rather a rainbow coalition of personalities as friends than people who make me look good from a surface level. It will always be comforting to know that the people I call my friends are free from judging me because I am not judging them. We all sin so I don’t mind having sinners as friends.
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