Monday, March 18

Answering a Direct Question w/a Direct Answer is Brash & Arrogant?

brash: impertinent; impudent; tactless
arrogant: making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud

I was recently called brash and arrogant for stating that I didn't wear makeup because I didn't need it. In an effort to keep things in context, I wasn't tooting my horn. There was a discussion being had about wearing a full face of makeup. I was asked why I chose not to. My response was:

"because I don't need it"

I was met with a turned up nose and the statement that I must think I'm better than women who do wear makeup. This confused me because my reply wasn't about ANYONE ELSE but ME. You asked me why I didn't wear makeup and I answered you; because you didn't like my answer, you assume I think I'm better than you and any woman who chooses to wear makeup. Ok.

This lead me to ask someone else if the woman who asked me the question was being a little sensitive. After playing back the conversation to them, their assesment was that because I didn't offer any further explanation as to WHY I didn't wear makeup, it makes me come across as brash and arrogant.


How did I become the bad guy for answering a direct question, directly? I didn't give my opinion as to why other women wear makeup. I didn't even say that I don't think women need makeup. I said nothing in reference to anyone but myself. So I can't choose to not wear makeup because I don't need to? Or is there a problem here that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me? I'm going to say the latter.

The other day, a makeup artist stated that all women should wear makeup and those who don't, need to "get their life". She went on further to assume that if you don't wear makeup, you must not really love yourself because why wouldn't you want to enhance what you already have. Her statements were not in regards to just herself. She targeted an entire group of women to attack...simply because they weren't anything like her. I don't agree with her at all and I definitely don't think that all women's self-esteem is tied up in their beauty. Never mind that everyone can't wear makeup and there are some women who don't like it on THEIR face. 

I'm brash and arrogant though, right?

This is the perfect example of up being down, left being right, and right being wrong. Had she asked me a question that focused on all women and makeup, she would have gotten a totally different answer. However, her question was directed only to me. When did communication change to where I should be answering every question as if I'm speaking for everyone? I will not speak for all women in a LOT of areas because I do some things differently. I don't want someone who does things differently than me, speaking for me either. 

Yet, I'm still the problem.

This is why I've never been a fan of majority rule because it brushes aside those who think outside of the norm. Being different isn't something that I do so that I can get brownie points for being unique. EVERYONE has something about themselves that contrasts from others. At no point should they be called tactless or accused of feeling superior because of their diversity. Different doesn't automatically mean better or wrong. It means not the same.

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