Introvert Doesn't Mean Depressed, Sad or Hater of All Living Things

While there are Introverts that are depressed, sad and hate humankind, those aren't the defining characteristics of who they are. 

Living in a world that expects you to be extroverted all the time, can become uncomfortable to an Introvert. Some people want to force them to be around others, participate in things that are of no interest to them (for the sake of the crowd), and smile when they just want to sit and think. Contrary to what lots of people might think they know about me, I'm not an Extrovert. The people I share this with usually stare at me like I'm lying but I enjoy time with myself more than I do being surrounded by others. 

It has made it difficult to be around certain people without being drunk and/or high. When I was younger, I didn't want to have to explain why reading on a Friday night was more enjoyable than chasing guys. Often times, I'd disappear and remain that way until someone came looking for me to hang out. It was always an indicator that I had been by myself for a [more than] reasonable amount of time. It is also the main reason I don't really like unnecessary attention. Many Extroverts will argue (unknown) Introverts down about everyone wanting attention like they do. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Being the center of attention is not an Introverts idea of a good time. So what exactly is an Introvert?

notice who he's with? no one.  he isn't lonely/bored.
more than likely having a blast...by himself. 

Introverts are people who don't feel the need to talk all the time. Silence doesn't bother them, in fact, they look forward to it. Chatty Cathy's and people who demand you engage in small talk are at the top of most Introvert's list of Annoying People. Introverts, while liking time alone, do engage in fun activities with others but might disappear from the action out of nowhere. It is the alone time that recharges our internal batteries so that we can feel up to hanging out again. Constant human interaction can be draining and trigger behavior that begins to look like they hate people. Asking them what's wrong, why they aren't getting drunk, why aren't they dancing, why, why, why every 5 seconds, only makes them "hate" YOU, not humanity. Many Extroverts take it upon themselves to pull Introverts out of what they believe to be a shy shell. Not all Introverts are shy. Sometimes they just want to sit and observe the world in peace. Getting in their face about it only pushes them farther away from wanting to be around you.

Whereas Extroverts come across as being activated 24/7, Introverts reside in the land of chill unless provoked to leave. They're about doing things when they're ready to; not a moment sooner. Some people think that Introverts prefer to be Mutes. This isn't the case. If you asked my husband how much I talk at home, he'd tell you that he wishes I would shut up sometimes. We tend to have far more interesting conversations with each other than I do with others. So I have a lot to say. However, he can also attest to many days I will be in the same room as him and have nothing to say to the point that he asks me several times, "Are you okay?" Introverts don't talk just to hear the melodic sound of their own voice. They usually speak when they have something worth saying.

I've been labeled everything from weird to snobbish, to rude because of who I naturally am. Plenty of misunderstandings have been had because what is considered normal to Extroverts, just isn't my cup of tea. I even had someone stop being my friend because she said I didn't want to do everything she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it. according to her, this made me a bad friend. Totally irrational thought process and it happened because she didn't understand who I am. If I had to ask one thing of Extroverts who insist on Introverts liking them, it's to make a better effort to understand those who are not like them. While being an Extrovert is considered normal, introverted behavior is often seen as being anti-social, that we're mean, and that we need to be psychologically evaluated. When none of that is usually the case...we're just different.

Trying to Understand Artists

If I had a dollar for everytime someone referred to an artist as "crazy", with disgust in their tone, I'd have enough money to never need to work for anyone else. I use the word 'crazy' heavily because I don't view it as a bad thing. It is my belief that every human being has a level of insanity they reach; others just get there quicker and more frequently so it's easier to identify their "different" behavior. From observance, if your differences are more obvious, you "earn" the negative connotation of 'crazy'.

Regardless of how we individually see mania, It becomes easier to look at these creators without bias when we can comprehend why they behave as they do. 

Trying to understand artists can be difficult as hell because they can be very picky about who they let into their life. A lot of times it is due to the above judging. Other times, it is nothing more than them not caring about others being uncomfortable with who they are and rightfully so. One thing that no one can take from an artist is the beauty that can be produced by redirecting their 'crazy' into their craft. Without obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, multiple personalities, alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, being an introvert/extrovert, autism/aspergers syndrome, sociopathic behavior, and a plethora of other things that can be associated with disorderly behavior, we wouldn't have awe inspiring murals, record breaking musicians, literature that changes anyone's life that reads it, movement that evokes every range of emotion possible, and fashion that greatly contributes to the beauty of the person showcasing it.

Analyzing them less and feeling more can open our minds to whom they are. Even artists who aren't big on conveying feelings outside of their work are still walking balls of emotion. Making everything they do about them being difficult and/or out of control, removes the focus of the real subject: their art.

Sometimes the beauty of who they are resides in not being able to quickly figure them out. It's safe to say that they'd much rather you FEEL them through their work. Due to their gift being part of who they are, they can't help but to include parts of themselves in their work so get to know their work. All the darkness, mania, and perceived negativity begins to look very human and real even to the most skeptical eye. Of course you'd have to appreciate art on that level. Otherwise, they'll still just look like a deck that's missing more than half its cards.

When all else fails though, stop trying so hard to interpret the artist and just choose to experience the art.

[post can also be seen on !kohaus Art !s http://ikohaus.blogspot.com]

Answering a Direct Question w/a Direct Answer is Brash & Arrogant?

brash: impertinent; impudent; tactless

arrogant: making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud

I was recently called brash and arrogant for stating that I didn't wear makeup because I didn't need it. In an effort to keep things in context, I wasn't tooting my horn. There was a discussion being had about wearing a full face of makeup. I was asked why I chose not to. My response was:

"because I don't need it"

I was met with a turned up nose and the statement that I must think I'm better than women who do wear makeup. This confused me because my reply wasn't about ANYONE ELSE but ME. You asked me why I didn't wear makeup and I answered you; because you didn't like my answer, you assume I think I'm better than you and any woman who chooses to wear makeup. Ok.

This lead me to ask someone else if the woman who asked me the question was being a little sensitive. After playing back the conversation to them, their assesment was that because I didn't offer any further explanation as to WHY I didn't wear makeup, it makes me come across as brash and arrogant.

Seriously?

How did I become the bad guy for answering a direct question, directly? I didn't give my opinion as to why other women wear makeup. I didn't even say that I don't think women need makeup. I said nothing in reference to anyone but myself. So I can't choose to not wear makeup because I don't need to? Or is there a problem here that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me? I'm going to say the latter.

The other day, a makeup artist stated that all women should wear makeup and those who don't, need to "get their life". She went on further to assume that if you don't wear makeup, you must not really love yourself because why wouldn't you want to enhance what you already have. Her statements were not in regards to just herself. She targeted an entire group of women to attack...simply because they weren't anything like her. I don't agree with her at all and I definitely don't think that all women's self-esteem is tied up in their beauty. Never mind that everyone can't wear makeup and there are some women who don't like it on THEIR face. 

I'm brash and arrogant though, right?

This is the perfect example of up being down, left being right, and right being wrong. Had she asked me a question that focused on all women and makeup, she would have gotten a totally different answer. However, her question was directed only to me. When did communication change to where I should be answering every question as if I'm speaking for everyone? I will not speak for all women in a LOT of areas because I do some things differently. I don't want someone who does things differently than me, speaking for me either. 

Yet, I'm still the problem.

This is why I've never been a fan of majority rule because it brushes aside those who think outside of the norm. Being different isn't something that I do so that I can get brownie points for being unique. EVERYONE has something about themselves that contrasts from others. At no point should they be called tactless or accused of feeling superior because of their diversity. Different doesn't automatically mean better or wrong. It means not the same.