Introvert Doesn't Mean Depressed, Sad or Hater of All Living Things

While there are Introverts that are depressed, sad and hate humankind, those aren't the defining characteristics of who they are. 

Living in a world that expects you to be extroverted all the time, can become uncomfortable to an Introvert. Some people want to force them to be around others, participate in things that are of no interest to them (for the sake of the crowd), and smile when they just want to sit and think. Contrary to what lots of people might think they know about me, I'm not an Extrovert. The people I share this with usually stare at me like I'm lying but I enjoy time with myself more than I do being surrounded by others. 

It has made it difficult to be around certain people without being drunk and/or high. When I was younger, I didn't want to have to explain why reading on a Friday night was more enjoyable than chasing guys. Often times, I'd disappear and remain that way until someone came looking for me to hang out. It was always an indicator that I had been by myself for a [more than] reasonable amount of time. It is also the main reason I don't really like unnecessary attention. Many Extroverts will argue (unknown) Introverts down about everyone wanting attention like they do. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Being the center of attention is not an Introverts idea of a good time. So what exactly is an Introvert?

notice who he's with? no one.  he isn't lonely/bored.
more than likely having a blast...by himself. 

Introverts are people who don't feel the need to talk all the time. Silence doesn't bother them, in fact, they look forward to it. Chatty Cathy's and people who demand you engage in small talk are at the top of most Introvert's list of Annoying People. Introverts, while liking time alone, do engage in fun activities with others but might disappear from the action out of nowhere. It is the alone time that recharges our internal batteries so that we can feel up to hanging out again. Constant human interaction can be draining and trigger behavior that begins to look like they hate people. Asking them what's wrong, why they aren't getting drunk, why aren't they dancing, why, why, why every 5 seconds, only makes them "hate" YOU, not humanity. Many Extroverts take it upon themselves to pull Introverts out of what they believe to be a shy shell. Not all Introverts are shy. Sometimes they just want to sit and observe the world in peace. Getting in their face about it only pushes them farther away from wanting to be around you.

Whereas Extroverts come across as being activated 24/7, Introverts reside in the land of chill unless provoked to leave. They're about doing things when they're ready to; not a moment sooner. Some people think that Introverts prefer to be Mutes. This isn't the case. If you asked my husband how much I talk at home, he'd tell you that he wishes I would shut up sometimes. We tend to have far more interesting conversations with each other than I do with others. So I have a lot to say. However, he can also attest to many days I will be in the same room as him and have nothing to say to the point that he asks me several times, "Are you okay?" Introverts don't talk just to hear the melodic sound of their own voice. They usually speak when they have something worth saying.

I've been labeled everything from weird to snobbish, to rude because of who I naturally am. Plenty of misunderstandings have been had because what is considered normal to Extroverts, just isn't my cup of tea. I even had someone stop being my friend because she said I didn't want to do everything she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it. according to her, this made me a bad friend. Totally irrational thought process and it happened because she didn't understand who I am. If I had to ask one thing of Extroverts who insist on Introverts liking them, it's to make a better effort to understand those who are not like them. While being an Extrovert is considered normal, introverted behavior is often seen as being anti-social, that we're mean, and that we need to be psychologically evaluated. When none of that is usually the case...we're just different.

To Be or Not To Be [Yourself]...

We incessantly hear:

BE YOURSELF.

I see and hear it so much, that it has caused me to question how much of this people REALLY believe in. From my observations, a lot claim to want freedom to be themselves but depending on the road we travel to our destiny, society demands we sacrifice certain parts of who we are. So how can we truly be ourselves?

Best example I can give is that lends credit to this conflict is myself. I KNOW I don't get along with everyone. Even though I'm friendly, I cherish honesty over a lie any day; because the truth can be ugly sometimes, I'm often accused of being mean when I give the truth its just due. Many people come to me for honest opinions and unbiased views but far more people stay away from me because of them. I don't crave the attention of other people so this isn't a problem for me personally. It is a problem for my writing though. Writers need exposure, like any other artist. So when you have a significant amount of individuals who won't share my work because they "don't like me" [NOT my writing], it presents a HUGE problem.

I KNOW there are some people who don't work with me on purpose, due to my personality. You'd think being honest and upfront were endearing and wanted traits in the world of writing but not so much. A lot of people want to pick their truths in life even when their delusional behavior is staring them in the face. If I come along and hold up the mirror, I become The Least Likely to Be Worked With. I'm the favorite person until I tell the truth about something people would rather just close their eyes to. I then become, Public Enemy #1.

So what happened to "BE YOURSELF"?

It sounds good and that's about it. The reality is, if we were 100% ourselves in EVERY capacity of our lives, a lot of people would never retain jobs, be in solid relationships, have friends, and/or be allowed outside of insane asylums. So what do we do? We dial our personalities down/up to get to where we want and need to be. Is this being fake? Depends on who you ask. 

So what SHOULD you do? There is a fine line between what we can comfortably live with and creating an entirely different persona for the benefit of success. Most people in the industries that require us to "fake it until you make it" understand the need to project certain images. If we asked THEM if we're being fake, they'd more than likely tell us that it's an occupational hazard if we want to make a recognizable name for ourselves. If we're trying to live a relatively normal life and we asked someone who enjoys their 9-5, married life, children, white picket fence, and dog, they'd probably tell us that we have to stay 100% true to ourselves.

As I get closer to fulfilling pivotal points of my destiny, I gain more clarity on "BE YOURSELF". My reality dictates that I'm going to have to do a lot of things I don't necessarily WANT, but NEED, to do. I'm more of an introvert but extrovert traits are required to network and connect with others. It isn't being someone else; it's channeling that part of myself that already exists but never needed to be used. I view it as necessary change versus being someone I'm not.

The bottom line is, once we determine what/where we want to be life, it's up to us to BE that and show up for success. Whatever we're willing to do, as long as we accept full accountability for our actions and words, we're still being ourselves. Sometimes we have to switch lanes to get to our final destination and before we do that, we should have answered the most important life question:

To Be or Not To Be [Yourself]?