Pregnancy & The Public Eye

The above pictures are of me when I was 7 months pregnant and about 3 months before I found out I was with child. Nothing about my pregnancy was easy but my daughter was healthy the entire time I was pregnant. That made me so grateful and I took all the "punches" in stride. The comments about my body during pregnancy from women who had never been pregnant, as well as men who don't know shit about shit when it comes to pregnancy, used to piss me off. 

I was extremely emotional during this time and used to cry a lot when I was by myself. My hormones were all out of whack, I was stressed beyond belief, and couldn't stop counting the days until delivery. The judgments of others did not make this process any better so when I hear/see others calling other pregnant women rude ass names, a part of me taps back into my experience. 

My body changed SO much that I would get upset at what I was seeing in the mirror, more often than not. I was used to my butt looking a certain way; my rear end was ALL OVER THE GOTDAM PLACE. My boobs looked fantastic but were so heavy that I couldn't really appreciate them as much as other mothers. My [now] husband was so concerned about poking his daughter in the head while having sex that I didn't get it in as much as I would have liked to. Another contributing factor to my crankiness while pregnant. When I say that EVERYTHING changed JUST to bring my daughter into this world, I am so serious.

I didn't really talk to many people about my feelings while pregnant. I was experiencing things I never acknowledged in the past and I felt alone during this process, most days. I had a couple friends that (figuratively) held my hand through it all and I love them SO much for being there. I often wonder how some women who are in the public eye deal with this because we all know how insensitive people can be towards the famous. 

                                    

I heard/saw people calling Mariah everything from a "fat fuck" to "Shamu" when she was pregnant. Never mind that she was carrying twins and it's expected amongst people with functioning brains that she was going to gain a considerable amount of weight.

Kim Kardashian has also been called Shamu, as well as "a big bitch" and "overweight". Of course because she is the world's favorite person to gossip about and hate, she's rarely spared when it comes to name calling.

                                                  

Some even questioned whether Jill Scott was really pregnant or just "ridiculously obese". Due to her already being a plus size woman, pre-pregnancy, the jokes were endless and...cruel. It got to the point where I began to question if people valued a healthy mother or seemingly thinner expecting mothers.

I could keep posting pre-pregnancy and pregnancy pictures of women in the spotlight, listing the irrational comments that were made about them. It would only further support my point that the general public can sometimes be mindless as a box of rocks. It caused me to question how many women accepted what happens when you get the opportunity to create life. Some of these same women are eagerly awaiting the day they get to have a family of their own but the level of their immaturity is astounding. 

My only suggestion to the public is to be easy on moms-to-be. They are dealing with enough preparing for the arrival of their tiny bundle[s]. While they might be used to ignoring the mean things people hurl their way, some of us women who are used to looking a certain way, still have to manage our feelings regarding pregnancy. I guess what I'm trying to say is, stop being dickheads about pregnant women. Yes, some of us gain a ton of weight while pregnant, our noses might spread all over our face, and it could look like we're about to give birth to Paul Bunyan. However, if you've never carried a baby past 3-4 months, shut the entire fuck up. It's a process of up to 9 months. Respect this miracle or just be quiet.

Choosing to Be Nice vs. Repulsive

I have a friend who acts amazed that I'm friendly to people I don't need to be nice to. We're in our 5th year of friendship and this still makes her laugh at me. It makes me no never mind. I'm not nice to get anything out of anyone. It just comes natural to me to be cheerful, kind, and smile. If someone else [not speaking of my friend] is bothered by this, THAT makes ME laugh. 

Why are you annoyed that someone else prefers to be pleasant than being a crotchety cunt? You do realize how moronic that is, considering positivity isn't a bad thing?

Some of the misconceptions I often hear attached to those who have a pleasant demeanor are as follows:

• they aren't really happy/nice

I understand that there are Happiness Impostors out there. I get it. However, if some of us brainy farts are as intelligent as we lead on, it should be understood that ALL people aren't faking the funk. If you genuinely take comfort in being a grouchy asshole, why does the possibility of someone enjoying the polite life, seem far fetched? I attribute that to the pessimism instinctively connected to being mean all the time. Of course, this is no different than a happy person assuming a miserable person doesn't want to be down all the time. I used to think like that because of how draining it is [to me] to revel in melancholy. Good old logic and life has shown, some people DO bask in the darkness of their sadness. THAT is what makes them feel alive and there is NOTHING anyone else can do about it. So, leave them alone and let them be who they want.

• they're only being nice because they want something

I understand that there are Wolves in Sheep Clothing, waiting to use other peoples kindness as a weakness. The best line of reasoning I can assign this notion is simply asking the accuser, "are YOU one of the wolves?" If the answer is "Yes", with a wicked smile that makes you feel like you are their next victim, flee. Unless you're a glutton for punishment. If the answer is "No" in a slightly offended tone, they've pretty much given credit to the fact that everyone isn't out to take advantage of others.

• they're attention whores and need friends

So you would assume, without knowing anything about someone, that they need friends? Maybe, it is you who needs a friend. Revel in your angst all you like but while it is true that there are other Mopey Mandy's and Evil Eddie's, people do exist who are the complete opposite. Consider this for a second...some people draw others to them BECAUSE they're enjoyable to be around. If you aren't familiar with this and don't care to be, it's your world, do you. Aldous Huxley stated that "facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored". It is factual that everyone doesn't behave the same.

• they're idiots, gullible, stupid, [insert some more intended insults thrown out to make them feel better about their assumptions]

When did it become idiotic and stupid to be kind? I suppose if you've been fucked over a lot in life, it makes sense that this ideal would be adopted. It's understandable that you wouldn't want this to happen to you and definitely not repeatedly. Listen to yourself though. To indicate that you aren't nice because all it does is get you taken advantage of says more than you're willing to admit. At some point, you wanted to be nice to others too, you just CHOSE to do the opposite. This is a defense mechanism, not necessarily how you've always viewed things. You successfully shoot holes in your own assumption [theory]. Being hurt sometimes makes us keep our patronus out permanently to deflect other assholes from approaching. I get that too. That's your baggage speaking for you, not a universal truth.

It should be understood that no one is so one-dimensional that they never exude traits opposite of how we usually see them behave. Meaning, even the nicest person has Mean Girl days, just as Cuntastic individuals have breakthroughs where they like someone enough to get married, have kids, and actually show they can love something other than their evil misery. It happens because we're human.

So even though my friend chuckles at my cheery disposition, she's well aware that I can rip someones head off and spit down their throat. Without blinking once. If you want to be a mean ass, by all means, soak up all the assholery. Those who want to sniff unicorn ass, taste the rainbow, and giggle more than scowling like we bit a lemon? Let them live the sweet life.

You can always take comfort in the fact that one more happy person leaves more room for you to be a dick about life.