short hiatus. back this week!

Haven't posted anything lately because I've been without my computer. All of that will be a thing of the past this week!

Do You REALLY Care What Kanye & Kim are Doing?

Due to the gossipy world we live in, if you have the slightest modicum of fame, the public [media included] will insert themselves into every facet of your life, if possible. There was a time when news was broadcast in an effort to inform us of things that we needed to know. Today? Not so much. It appears that people are far more interested in who's sleeping with who versus things that really matter.

I clicked on a Huffington Post link that said "Kim & Kanye Posing Nude on L'Official Hommes Paris Spring 2013", thinking it was going to be a spread of tasteful photos from the couple. Wrong. The write-up had more to do with admonishing them for taking the pictures.

"...doing a hell of a job making sure their future child will one day have plenty to be embarrassed about"

"the reality star and her rapper baby daddy"

"we'll admit the cover is pretty sexy, but we're calling TMI on this as we have their unborn baby's best interest at heart, and no one wants to see their parents like that"

The focus wasn't on the photos that were taken, in fact, there was only one pose repeatedly shown on the post and that was it. The writer made sure you were paying attention to their opinion related drivel that reflected more of their personal beliefs than a genuine interest in the couple's unborn child. Makes me wonder if they stopped to think that maybe it isn't within the unborn child's interest to write foolish shit about their parents.

As far as "no one wants to see their parents like that", I'm positive there are people out there who thought the picture was beautiful, not an embarrassment, present or future. If children see their parents expressing love for one another openly, wouldn't that provide a good example? I suppose it is the general assumption that they'll raise their child traditionally and in a conservative manner. If they choose to do that, good for them. It is the choosing otherwise that causes people to cast these ridiculous judgments.

I can show you several families who raised their children conservatively, in a traditional manner...and the kids didn't take to their parents instructions too well. The same goes for non-traditional parenting. You can find examples of good and bad outcomes for any type of child rearing.

I digress. Whatever happened to just wishing people well? Instead we've become a society that has to tear EVERYTHING apart to feel better about ourselves. I would say if Kim & Kanye were your friends, would you look at them the same but the answer is made clear everyday. A lot of people cannot stomach the happiness of others when they aren't in a happy place themselves. While it is understandable, the negativity attached to it oozes out a lot more frequently than some of us are willing to admit.

The Huffington Post more than likely got tons of hits and that is what they're always aiming for. It just makes me a bit sad that news has to be presented in this manner. 

I'm not Kim and my husband isn't Kanye but we're not strangers to people saying inappropriate things about our relationship. It is almost like the free-spirited, carefree individuals will forever be looked down upon by those too afraid to embrace their right to do as they please. Kayne & Kim have dated some well-known people. Kanye doesn't get crowned a hobag, as does Kim, even though their situations have been similar. They've actually been in relationships with these people, it's just been broadcast in an ugly light all over the media. 

How many people can honestly say the last 5 people they've slept with, they were FOR REAL dating? I'm sure someone can but why does it even matter? Will that add on to the years of productive life you have left? Nope but shitting on other people has become the cool thing to do. I'm hoping that news outlets get back to reporting things in a journalistic manner that can still be admired. The public complains about the messages that the media constantly send that are negative but the truth is...they wouldn't keep posting it if there wasn't a significant following looking at and sharing it.

I guess it all goes back to being the change we wish to see.

The Anatomy of a "Bad Bitch"

 

Based on some things I've heard men say about "bad bitches", it has lead me to believe that they think most of these women wake up "bad". Of course "bad" becomes relative based on the man/woman you're talking to. For the sake of this post, use the UNIVERSAL definition. For an example, think, Halle Berry or Amber Rose.

Not every "bad bitch" looks terrible without their makeup and weave but if they walked around like most women, a lot of men wouldn't classify them as "bad". I've seen the eyebrow-less faces, non-existent edges, bad skin, and how they dress when no one is gawking over them. When they step outside, they have put serious time and effort into their appearance. Imagine if they had 1 or more children inserted into that equation. I'm still looking for the average woman who is a "bad bitch", has kids, AND maintains her look on minimal average income. I have yet to find that unicorn.

Hair

Skin/Nails

Gym

Clothing

Friends

Money

Time

Those are the 8 main things involved with maintaining a "bad" status. Without Money and Time, it's damn near impossible to have the other 6 in full. 

 

There is a reason it takes women 2-5 hours at the salon. Never mind the 30-60 min wait just to get in the chair. This isn't the same as going to a barbershop to get a hair cut. We are getting FULL SERVICES and the ones that cost the least, still take an average of an hour, from arrival to departure, to complete. Most services start at $15-25 but that's for ONE service. It is rare that a non-White woman gets one service when going to the salon. We usually get 2-3, which can increase the cost by $40-80. Being a bad bitch, every salon visit can run you $100 or more. If you have a weave and/or hair color, your monthly hair costs can be anywhere from $250-$800.

 

To put on makeup effectively enough to be labeled "bad", it takes time. Women don't blink and SHAZAM! makeup appears. If you want quality makeup, that costs money too. When I was going to the club all the time, my makeup bill, semi-monthly, was about $30-50. I don't even wear a lot of makeup; foundation, mascara, and gloss. Most "bad" women wear a list of products [usually]. Eyebrows have to be drawn on, blemishes have to be concealed, and skin tone has to be evened out. I know some women who have to start getting ready 2 hours before it's time to go somewhere because of their makeup process. Keeping makeup fresh so skin isn't irritated and buying good products can triple what my semi-monthly bill is. I've seen some women spend $150 on makeup in one visit and it wasn't everything they needed.

When it comes to clothing, a good shopper can find quality pieces at bargain prices. When I was shopping at least 2-3 days a week, I was spending at least $300-500...that's $1200-2000 a month on clothes. Again, I wasn't even dressing to be a bad bitch. One dress, bag, coat, or pair of shoes can cost a bad bitch $1200-2000. Average working class women cannot afford that all the time and their basic responsibilities.

In order to get the money that is needed, time is definitely involved. If they can fund their status on their own, extra time doesn't have to be devoted to any man/woman in an effort to get what their lifestyle needs. This isn't to insinuate that "bad bitch" = "whore". If I could afford to dote on myself more often, I would do ALL of the above. I'm simply saying that without a considerable, constant flow of money, bad bitches don't exist.

 

The friends of "bad" ones usually understand their lifestyle and tend to have similar lives. That's why most of their friends are hot, like them. In this instance, birds of a feather do flock together. They tend to travel in groups, at the very least in pairs. You deal with them, you'll also have to deal with their friends. It isn't any different than most women and their friends; you just stare at "bad" ones longer. There is an expectation with some [not all] that if you got me, you got my girls too. That requires money and if you don't have it, they have no problem telling you to go away.

 

If one were to calculate the time and money it takes on a monthly basis to support this lifestyle, it'd be obvious that ONLY men with a significant amount of money can afford these women. Yet, a lot of men with less than, feel they should have a "bad bitch". It becomes a neverending cycle of delusional stupid shit. Enter the complaining and nagging that men do but just not in a whiny woman's voice. 

 

BEING A BAD BITCH IS A LIFESTYLE.

I ask all men who think that their significant others are being lazy or defiant against societies norms, find JUST ONE woman who has the *UNIVERSAL title of "bad bitch", has one or more kids, while living in a household with a combined income of less than 75k a year, and takes care of all her basic necessities BEFORE her bad bitch status. I want to talk to these women to see how they do it because if they can be considered a *UNIVERSAL bad bitch, I will stand corrected and do what they're doing. So far no one has been able to point them out.

 

This post isn't to make a mockery of these women. They have a right to choose how they want to be seen. It's to point out that it isn't as simple as some people think. It takes effort just like women who focus on their education and intelligence. For people to irrationally think that it can be done with minimal time and money is the reason I wrote this. 

 

Definitions

UNIVERSAL [bad bitch]: a woman that can be seen by most men/women and classified as such. Being pretty, cute, or generally attractive, unfortunately, doesn't classify women as being "bad". Most women who are beyond *pornstar thick aren't considered bad bitches either.

PORNSTAR THICK: see the picture to the left.

The General Public & Reality Television

My social networks aren't just for entertainment; they allow me to better understand the behavior of large groups. There is a saying something to the effect of 'a person is not dumb but people are stupid'. In less offensive terms: when we herd together, we tend to not think as much. One thought resonates amongst the group as being accurate and that is what we go with. Facts are ignored. Logic is forgotten and assumptions run rampant. Internet "crowds" are not easily reasoned with sometimes due to there being far more opinions that match irrational conclusions. Separate just one person from the crowd and their individual thought process will likely express a different opinion...after they're presented with a viewpoint that makes sense. Group thinking is usually the cause of this.

So, I didn't watch the first or second season of the above show because:

1. I didn't like the harsh judgment spewed out at the cast, knowing that some of the people making these grandiose judgments/assumptions, HATE being judged themselves.
2. I know that these shows are edited to keep viewers interested, not necessarily to shed light on who they REALLY are. 

This isn't to say that their show behavior isn't part of their personality but Producers display them as one dimensional creatures, which is a bit unfair. I understand that some might be putting on for viewers but others seem genuine. I'm no stranger to how reality shows work either since I've developed and assisted in the creation of two. One of which got picked up by a well known television station but was dropped due to creative differences and another that is a great show waiting to "happen". Everything isn't always what it seems on these shows.

This season caught my attention though because of Consequence and Joe Budden. One is married to a cast member and the other used to date one of the women. However, THE WOMEN are still the focus of the show. Kind of feels like it should have been called Women in Hip Hop. That title isn't catchy but I digress. After watching a couple of the episodes, it made sense who people were referencing on my social networks.

It also allowed me to see the uglier side of some I wish I hadn't witnessed. 

In an effort to understand other human beings, I question a lot of things. Not in the sense of who are you to do this or that. More so from a place of curiosity, as in why are you doing that. I'm a believer that a solution exists in every problem that we have. So when these people's lives are ripped apart by the entertained public, I begin to question how many think their life is better...or if it just feels good to see a perceived bad situation if you're in one too. I don't know any of the cast to say they have shitty lives but some of my followers FEEL otherwise. I say feel because it isn't clear that they're even THINKing. How many people ask themselves "if I was on TV would my life LOOK drama free? Would I be viewed as the same person I portray myself to be online"?

I'll be the first to admit, my life on television would probably cause some to stop and give me a side eye. The full spectrum of who I am cannot be captured on any social network. For one, I have a husband and child that I have to respect. While my husband knows ALL of my perceived weaknesses/flaws and the un-PC things I do/say in the privacy of my home, it isn't within my best interest to unleash that on people every chance I get. Is it being fake? Not in the least. If that were the case, ALL of us would have to be plugged into the Matrix 24/7 so there wouldn't be a chance of our followers missing anything. Those I'm close to know the layers of who I am outside of my logins. What the online communities see in regards to me is accurate information about who I am, it just isn't EVERYTHING.

I view these reality shows the same way. There are parts of these people's lives that we will never know about. Looking at the cast's antics as a form of entertainment is one of the most reasonable ways to view them. However, it has become far more than that. Wild assumptions fly and while we could blame it on what the Producers choose to show us, it is displayed as jealousy/envy, judgment, and jackassery. So no sooner than I start to watch some reality based programs, I quickly stop.

I don't have much faith in our current society falling back from harshly judging so maybe someone will figure out a way to show the real side of reality television. Then again that would be called a documentary so, there's that.